I''ll never tell you my Name

put on your best fake smile









I just want to be
Perfect.

Ana is...
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NeverEndingStriveForPerfection
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Member Since: 3/29/2007

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Monday, August 17, 2009

my dietplan


i gained, can you believe?! i really thought i was doing fine! not really binging or eating sweets.. ignoring the hunger, refusing the food when they offer.. it actually made me feel strong and i swear i though i lost. at least a bit.. and i gained! how is this possible?

from now on, every day the same diet:
morning: light skimmed cheese with oatmeal and maybe some fruits in it
lunch: roasted weatbread with raw smoked salamon
evening: weatbread with boiled egg, maybe salomon en one piece of vegetable

that is:
good balanced ( about 25% protein, 50% good carbohydrates and 25% good fats, and yes, they are needed, got it from a dietist)
raw diet (only raw things, with exception of the egg, but it can be half boiled as well)
mot much ( 206 breads, 200 salomon, 112 kwark-the cheesy thing, 92 for the boiled egg and i dont know about 100 for the oathmeal?) that is about 750 a day, that must be okay right?)
combining good carbs with protein in every meal (also tip from the dietist!)
having enough vitamins..:
A : the cheesy thing, fish and eggs
B1: bread, cheesything and veges
B2: bread and oatmeal
B3: bread, veges, egg
B5: the cheesything, oatmeal, eggs, this wheatbread especially, veges
B6: fish, egg
B8: egg, oatmeal
B11: bread, egg, cheesy thing
B12: egg, cheesy thing
C: few fruits?
D: FISH
E: egg, oatmeal
F: oily products?  maybe like the fish? although its smoked? 
K: weathbread, eggs, fish

sounds perfect doesnt it? I hope it works..
especially cs i hate fish! i guess ill have to liek it, its healthy... 
ow besides, liver is good to eat too! so for the variation, sometimes liver is allowed

the good news: I got the job, IM A NANNY from now on! yay.. hahahha

so tell me, whats your best diet?    i know, the thinspo's.. sorry.. next time.. really sorry!


Sunday, August 09, 2009

help me how to puke

im doing alot of facial masks lately
is salt good for your skin?
cs ive been crying all day..




im so upset. i ate too much. and i knew it, but i had to.. the last thing i ate i was even thinking i would purge it
 anyway..
i binged

i went to the shower... and i read on a site drinking lots and lots of warm water helps it... so i drank and drank and
 my belly looked like a balloon.. and i tried for the hundreth time. and i just could..

i cant keep pushing it. its like a reflex that my tongue pulls back or my fingers just cant keep pushing.. even
 with the toothbrush it didnt work..

ive been in the shower for over an hour just trying and trying... But i fail... 
3 years, and i still fail!!

what should i do? how should i do it? 

help me. how should i throw myself up?                                                                          



thinspos next time. promise.                                                                                              


Saturday, August 08, 2009

biking

honestly, im so proud of myself!
I just biked one and half hour. that is 25,6 km or 16 miles. yesterday my lovely boyfriend came to me on bike.
We live 60 km ( 37 miles) away from each other! so he biked like 100 km (over 62 miles) yesterday! it totally
 inspired me. and im so damn proud of him, that he did it. he just DID IT.

I guess i lost the competition with mymouthislikeblablabla and my boyfriend. but this inspires me to work even
 harder for it this comming week! 

Yesterday I signed in for bellydancinglessons. for real this time (last time i was too late, it was already full). so a
 month from now ill finnaly dance! cant wait! also i started doing exercises again... and yea, o'course; eating less.
 how?
Im broke, so i have to save on shoppings anyway. its perfect; like this i cant buy tempting bad things. i drink
 water and eat less. its like a cleansing of my body ánd my kitchen. 




 
fuck photobucket>>>> really. gothic thinspo,fetish thinspo



fetish thinspo,gothic thinspo


suicide girls



Saturday, July 11, 2009

i will fix myself for you

I want a pretty face!
a pale white skin
without the scars 
and ugly things


i will fix myself for you. i will lose the weight thats unneeded, i will be skinny and ill work out for you. i will get my face pretty. whatever it costs... i will fix myself for you!


and this will be me
xu7658

so: tomorrows diet: as fuckign little as possible. 
tomorrow: 3 facials. (morning, afternoon, evening)
workouts.
more sleep (good for skin)
and mty fave: pills!


Tuesday, June 30, 2009

containents of my bag when i go out:

pretty sharp knife
bottle of dietpills
bottle of martini
my musicthingy with eadphones
sigs
well yea nd allet and phone]

 

hahha

 

intake today:
bottle of martini
2 slices of bread
one bread with meat (so wrong)
few peanuts
lots of love from my sweet boyfriend:)

its okay right? damn ill fix this post tomorrow. i guess im not sober enought for it rigth now.

 

 

<3

stay strong pretty girls and guys :)



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